The institution of marriage is dead.
The nail in the coffin was the creation of the “de facto” spouse laws.
It no longer makes sense to get married when the chances you will end up divorced are akin to flipping a coin.
But let us not grieve, men. There is a better alternative. What’s more, it’s completely free and you won’t have to spend a small fortune on cakes, flowers, photographers and other bullshit that you don’t care about.
Just use a simple “relationship contract”.
This will give you everything you could ever want from marriage and more.
Let’s have a brief look at the benefits of this arrangement:
- A serious commitment and your own customisable vows.
- Absolute certainty on roles in the relationship.
- A clearly bound duration, ensuring neither party gets ‘too content’
- A safeguard of written evidence against any malicious claims of rape or abuse (the modern world has become a litigious place).
- Pre-agreed measures to deal with conflict when it arises
If you think that sounds like the perfect relationship then you are right: it is.
Let’s look at the major elements that make up a relationship contract.
What your relationship contract should contain
An obvious one. You need your name and your girlfriend’s name clearly stated at the top, just like any decent contract.
Dates and Duration
One of the beautiful things about a relationship contract is you decide how long the relationship lasts for.
You can have 6 months, 1 year, 2, or even 5 years.
The beauty is that you are neither tied into endless, boring monogamy – like traditional marriage – or aimlessly wandering down a boundary-less laise-faire struggle like the currently trendy “equal relationship”. You have the best of both worlds: legal freedom, yet the comfort and emotional security of a formal written commitment.
Once the term is up, you can extend, separate or draw up a completely new contract – to your tastes.
Now don’t forget: this contract is not legally binding whatsoever. Either party can decide at any time that they want to end the relationship or withdraw their consent to what they agreed to in the contract. A relationship contract of this nature serves as an intimate agreement between a man and a women, not a legal agreement.
The most important part of the agreement is the definition of the roles.
You can use the terms ‘man’ and ‘women’, or ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ if you prefer (even though you are not legally married).
By agreeing clear expectations up front, you free yourself from the power struggle that we commonly now observe in the vast majority of Western relationships.
The man’s role is to be the dominant role
The women’s role is to be the submissive role.
You can include any level of detail as you see fit, that is unique to you and your partner.
Every relationship needs rules and this contract is the ideal place to agree them with your partner.
Anything that is important to you and the running of your household should be agreed here.
This can be as simple as the basics on manners and behavior, household chores and conjugal rights. Or as complex as specific rules regarding certain behaviors that are particular to you and your women.
In my household, I have 3 basic rules.
You should have a clear list of behaviors that will not be acceptable in the relationship. This is the perfect opportunity for you to have an in-depth discussion with your potential partner about your expectations of the relationship and what will occur if rules are breached.
Don’t be afraid to talk. If you don’t agree all of this verbally with your partner prior, then the signed contract isn’t worth a dime and won’t stand up. It could take weeks for you both to fully agree the details of a dynamic that suits you both. Don’t rush.
In my household, these specific behaviors will result in a punishment.
- Disrespectful attitude,
- Poor manners,
- Failure to undertake assigned chores
- Excessive mobile phone, Facebook time, etc.
- Talking about somebody in the 3rd person when they are present
This section clearly states the agreed list of acceptable punishments. Your partner may well have an aversion to certain forms of punishment.
Top of the list will be spanking, since it is traditional and a fundamental part of your role as husband.
Also ensure you include ‘writing lines’ as a punishment. Again this is traditional and will assist you in your goal to teach and improve the sassy Westernised brat you have probably ended up with.
Other punishments can be negotiated.
Depending on what you have agreed with your partner as the roles and rules in the relationship, you may have a certain degree of freedom over her body. For example, my partner allows me to use her for any sexual purposes I please.
Therefore, it is important that you agree up front any ‘off limits’ behaviour that your partner has an aversion to. Firstly this will stop you getting into an embarrassing situation where you want to do something that your partner hates or is scared of. Secondly, this is important for your partners emotional and psychological health.
As an example, your partner may wish to include flogging with your belt as off-limits.
You must respect and honour any agreed limits.
The Safe Word is a very important part of the contract.
The contract essentially acts as a ‘macro’ form of consent. That is, she agrees up-front that for the next 6 months you have the right to spank her for poor behaviour and agrees to submit to your authority for this period of time.
This brings up the question of how does she withdraw that consent.
A situation can easily arise whereby you are spanking your wife and she will say ‘stop, please, stop!’. Of course, since you have already have an agreed contract, you dismiss this plea as brat-like behaviour and continue to administer the spanking.
However, how do you know that your partner does not genuinely want you to stop, as she has been pushed past her physical or psychological limits? The answer to this question is the ‘safe word’.
The safe word should be something esoteric or unexpected that wouldn’t normally come up in conversation. Many couples have a unique and special word for them. “Catfish” perhaps, or something equally bizarre. Agree one between you. If you can’t think of anything, just use “red” – this is the most popular and is easily remembered.
If she uses the safe word, you stop what you are doing.
It’s as simple as that.
A relationship contract can make your next relationship the best of your life
The question you really need to ask yourself is why wouldn’t you have a relationship contract in place?